Oh well....

All good things must come to an end I guess. Buddy, my previously blogged about 'love of my life' revealed to me not too long ago that he did, in fact, cheat on me with his ex girlfriend (and babymama) Shannon, and has lied to me about it for a good month. Trust me, I am still EXTREMELY pissed off and heartbroken. He was my first love, physical and emotional, and we were engaged for a short period of time before he dropped this bomb on me. I still talk to him, but I'm kind of sick of it. I feel kind of pathetic, clinging on to our 'just friends' status. Plus, I mean, WHAT THE FUCK, he CHEATED on me! And lied! Shannon called me and told me and I asked him and he swore up and down it didn't happen. When he finally admitted his adultery, he used pathetic excuses, such as "I told you I'm the worst one, I hurt people to get what I want" and the whole "it's what you always thought: I still love her". Why the FUCK do I talk to him? Because he's a lost cause and I'm a magnet for lost causes. Because he's a huge part of my life and I'm not ready to lose it all. I did text Shannon, apologizing. She accepted and we're on ok terms. Crystal has been very supportive, as have all my other friends. Even Buddy realizes what he did was shitty. Too bad he doesn't feel bad about it. Oh well.... first loves rarely ever last do they? Hopefully he just wont be my last =(